We were watching a program on Court TV Sunday night and up popped a commercial for the “Corvette Dollar,” the latest release from the National Collector’s Mint. I’m assuming that these types of things have to be considered legal tender in some country to be marketed as “coins,” and whenever I see these commercials I look for the small print that says where they are indeed legal tender. (Palau, in case you’re curious, in the case of the Corvette coin.)

Now I’m quite certain that these countries have a lot more to worry about than whether they are going to get a tourism rush of Americans trying to purchase goods with “Reagan Proofs” or whatever… but I always end up wondering a few things about them:

1. If I traveled there, would I, indeed, be able to use these coins to make purchases?

2. Do shopkeepers there feel inconvenienced at having to accept all manner of oddball U.S. “coins” as currency?

3. Does NCM pay these nations for the privilege of creating coins that are legal tender in that country?

These are the things I worry about while waiting for the washing machine to finish its cycle. It’s probably time I do some actual research to sort it all out.

Despite the fact that the speed limit on our street is 25 mph, we daily see cars zooming from one end to the other at speeds in excess of 60 mph. We call the police, they run radar for a couple days, and when they leave the problem returns. A two-way stop sign placed at a key intersection several years ago has only worsened the problem, because now drivers on our street know that cross-traffic has to stop. City traffic officials have told us a four-way stop is out of the question because the traffic volume doesn’t warrant it and besides, “stop signs aren’t used for speed control, they’re used for traffic flow.”

I’ve fantasized about sitting on my front porch and throwing rocks at the passing cars, or firing off some b-b rounds, but that makes me a vandal and I’m not ready for the Big House just yet. My other idea is to sit on my front stoop, listening for the sound of speeding traffic and then rolling a child’s play ball out in the street. This, I figure, would force people to slam on their brakes in anticipation of a child running out into the street. The only thing stopping me is fear that someone will then lose control of their 3,000-pound missile and careen into someone’s house or yard, causing property damage as well as physical harm to my neighbors.

Now in Ohio a guy has somewhat serendipitously hit upon a solution: Cardboard kids! And not just ANY cardboard kids – these are cardboard kids made from lifesize photographs, then affixed to stands and placed in the yard, ostensibly to promote the maker’s sign business.

The unintended but welcome side effect has been that drivers see the kids, think they’re real, and slow down.

I wouldn’t mind having a few of these cardboard kids myself. For one thing, it might be a way to give my daughter the little sister she’s always wanted without the added expense of food, clothing, and college education. If it also forces drivers on our street to slow down, so much the better.